Trapped with a Capital T

It was 11:30am on a pleasant Saturday morning. The Funny Side with Toni Jordan and Liam Pieper had just concluded and my day was off to an inspiring start.
But before I get too invested, let me diverge to this morning for a moment.

Would you believe that I, a resident of Bendigo since the exact second I left my mothers womb, have never actually been inside The Capital Theater?? Never. I've never even had a single look inside the place. So my old friend anxiety thought it'd tag along to my first session on that Saturday morning, just to keep me company in case I got lost. Good ol' anxiety, always there for me.
As you could imagine, my inner dialogue as I ventured into the Capital, and attempted to find my session went a little like this:


Oh man. Oh **** god help me. I don't even know where I am. Jesus it's bright in here.
Are those little window things with people behind them for buying tickets or helping idiots like me find the illusive Engine Room? Better not ask, save yourself looking like a moron. 
Just casually walk around man, you're doing fine! No one else knows you have no idea where your going. 
Why is there no signs saying ENGINE ROOM -> ?? Surely other people don't know where they're going?? 
What's this room? Okay, this is not the Engine room. Oh! A book stall! No Alannah. Focus.
Okay. There are stairs to my right, and a door on my left. Not a hard decision, "don't put me down for cardio".
There's a lady in front of the door. Smile, be cool.
"Is this the engine room?" Nice. You didn't sound scared at all.
"Yes but you'll have to wait at least another five minutes for this session to end. There's seats in the book signing room and a book shop too if you'd like to browse while you wait."


And that was literally it. I waited in the book signing area, even saw a friend, then I went to my session. I was feeling great and ready to soak up some knowledge. It seemed like anxiety wasn't even necessary that morning.
Or so I thought.

SO.  As I was saying. Just finished my first session kicking off the writers festival on a high note. I'd managed to find the engine room and The Funny Side was excellent.
I was feeling really good and keen for the rest of my scheduled sessions.
And then I left the Engine room...

***Cue dramatic music***

THERE ARE PEOPLE EVERYWHERE. I CANNOT MOVE. I FEEL LIKE I'M JACK IN THAT SCENE IN THE TITANIC WHEN HE'S HANDCUFFED TO A PIPE AND THE WATER IS RUSHING IN AND HE'S FRANTICALLY TRYING TO STAY ABOVE WATER BEFORE BLOODY ROSE COMES WITH A KEY OR WHATEVER HAPPENS. AM I GOING TO DIE?? SURELY THERE IS NOT ENOUGH OXYGEN IN THIS HALLWAY FOR ALL A MILLION AND ONE OF US. AND LIKE A DAMN BOAT WITHOUT A SAIL, I'M GETTING MOVED BY THE PUSH AND PULL OF HUMAN BODIES COMING FROM ALL DIRECTIONS FIGHTING FOR THE MICROSCOPIC SPACE BETWEEN HUMAN BODIES. TELL MY MUM I LOVE HER AND THAT I WAS THE ONE THAT BROKE HER FAVOURITE MUG. AND TELL MY BROTHER IM SORRY FOR PINNING IT ON HIM. GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD.

............................................................................................................................And then eventually everyone actually EXITED THE DAMN BUILDING and I somehow survived that very traumatic ordeal.


And that my friends, is the written version of how I was Trapped with a Capital T. 

QUOTES THAT MADE ME UNDERSTAND WHY I AM HERE

Interviewed by Sue Gillet, James Maloney and Sean Williams took the stage for the discussion What I read: Why I write,  for the Text Marks the Spot program today in the Ullumburra theater.

Both authors, I'll be honest, I have never heard of before. And after doing some research into the both of them just to make sure I hadn't just forgotten their names (which often happens), I cemented this fact as I have never read their books either.

However, I am quite sure this isn't a fact any longer, as even though I have never heard of them until today, after listening to them talk about what inspires them, I was left inspired also as well as feeling understood. Many things they said I caught myself nodding and thinking "yes! I totally understand/agree!"

And in hindsight I wonder what that looked like to those sitting behind me, my beanie-clad head furiously nodding in agreement to the wondrous things these writers said.
But regardless of making a fool of myself, I'm so glad I was introduced to the great minds of James and Sean. I'll definitely be looking them up in the library soon. 

Anyway, here are my favourite quotes/perspectives from the lovely James Maloney and Sean Williams, that resonated so deeply with me I had to write them down so I could share them with you.

"If I don't write I don't live ... it's who I am" J.M

"People are natural story tellers. Everyone just does it differently." S.W

"Kids should be able to read whatever they want ... if it's too much for them they'll stop reading." S.W

"I started to tear up at the last two or so pages, not because it was a sad ending, but because I was about to leave the lives of these people. I was losing friends and companionship." J.M

"The two things that lies at the heart of predjudice, is fear and ignorance." S.W

"My greatest joy is having a great idea. That feeling of joy and excitement is what I love most about writing." J.M

Oringinal expectations and feelings regarding the writers fest.

I consider myself a writer. I would like to take action on this fact that I consider myself so. I like festivals. So of course, when finally granted the opportunity to attend this event that has been haunting me annually for the past four years, I jumped at the chance.

Although I claim the festival has been haunting me for years now, I mean only in the sense that as a writer I knew it was something I wanted to and should probably do to enhance the chance of this hobby turning into the career that I aspire for. This being said, over the past four years I have only briefly read up on the festival itself without actually retaining any info, besides that authors with a range of attributes, skills and personal stories attend. I did not know what actually happened and the Writers in Action festivals, besides my assumptions I did not know what I was actually in for. However, my ignorance has made it possible for me to enjoy the festival with a lovely lack of prior convictions and expectations, and the ability to have my eyes opened to the endless possibilities of what I can take away from this experience.

Which brings me to the birth of this awkward and fumbling blog. As I am attending as a student from La Trobe  there are certain expectations I must meet. One being creating a blog and writing about my experiences, interpretations, insights and opinions of what I have the privilege to experience and feast my senses and my mind upon.

I haven't the slightest idea of the specifics of what this blog will entail, but I think that will make it all the more fun and more importantly, honest.

I hope you enjoy witnessing WIA through my eyes.
I promise to keep my mind wide open for you.